Fanboy attempts Ninja Turtle mutation, ends up covered in shame

In a story that truly proves humanity is spiraling out of control, a hardcore Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan took his devotion to the next level this week by attempting to mutate himself into a bona fide mutant. His method? Pouring an ungodly amount of green slime all over his body in the hopes that it would unlock his inner reptile warrior. Spoiler Alert! It didn’t. The result? Not a ninja, not a mutant, just a grown man standing there covered in what looks like melted lime Jell-O and regret.

Kids, please don’t try this at home. Mutants aren’t real. Pouring green goop all over yourself will not make you a hero in a half shell. It will, however, make you a cautionary tale on the dangers of mixing fandom with idiocy. Parents, keep an eye on your kids before this turns into the next TikTok challenge. The last thing the world needs is a “Mutant Makeover” trend featuring teens rubbing green slime on themselves in hopes of getting sewer powers.

We get it, fandom is about passion. But there are better ways to celebrate your love for the turtles. Collect the action figures. Watch the cartoons. Read the comics. Heck, cosplay as Splinter if you want! But don’t go full retard unless your kink is getting laughed at by the entire internet. Leave the mutation experiments to the movies. Because unless you want to end up as a slippery, slimy cautionary tale, it’s best to celebrate your fandom without looking like a rejected Nickelodeon mascot.

Scoop by Al O’Vera